mamikaze

She doesn’t like going to school any more. She want to stay home everyday. We’re trying to help her cope and improve her skills but it’s not enough. 8 months of occupational therapy have helped but she’s got a long way to go.

She is such a smart kid. She has potential oozing out of her but she cannot focus it. We’re trying to get her more help, but we’ve been turned down over and over. “Borderline” has become a dirty word. She’s easily distracted and disrupts the students around her. I don’t want her to become the bad kid in the class. Her teacher this year is outstanding but next year’s is known for her low tolerance for wiggles and giggles.

Today she asked if she can do school at home. She’s bored with school and is tired of not fitting in. When I told her that I wanted her to finish second grade before making her way in the world, she cried.

Washington Virtual Academy, here we come.

Last night was our first 4H meeting. We are in a brand new group full of young kids and directed by a man who has been raising rabbits since he was in preschool. Fluffy has been looking forward to this since we adopted Bunny in July.

A few weeks ago, we went to a rabbit workshop and learned that our little cutie, Oreo is a male. It was only a mild shock as we had suspected it but it’s very difficult for a layperson to sex a rabbit. Fluffy was thrilled to be able to use “rabbit penis” in a sentence. Hooray for expanding vocabulary.

The “multiplying like rabbits” cliché is very true. They can begin mating at just a few months of age. Pepper and Oreo had been cagemates for months. My uneducated estimate of there age is about 5 months. Both of these bunnies are sexually mature now and had to be separated immediately.

They were so sad. Especially, Oreo (the male), he is very friendly. I was worried when I merged the two females because it is not unusual for two female rabbits. I guess that’s true with most females. Bunny made it very clear to Pepper who’s the boss.

Now the girls are bonded and poor Oreo is on his own. He runs to greet whoever comes up to his cage. He always asks to come out. We just can’t keep him. He needs to have a cagemate and we cannot afford another mouth to feed. Me and my big dumb mouth had to mention this to Fluffy on the way home from the 4H meeting last night.

She is distraught. She cried the whole drive. She admitted that she knows it’s best for everyone but it makes her very very sad to know he needs to go. I expect many more nights if these tears until we rehome our little buddy.

Fluffy is a highly sensitive girl like her mother. She conscientious to a fault and her fears go down to her core. A tiny yappy dog up the street bared it’s teeth at her this summer. she hasn’t been able to walk past that house since. She doesn’t like to talk about her feelings. Verbalizing emotions often causes and eruption that leads to crying and results in a long-lasting exhaustion.

Just before winter break, the school bus noticed engine trouble and returned to the school. The kids had to wait 30 minutes for the transportation department to get a new bus up to them. When she arrived home, she told me curtly that “it was not fun.”

I noticed last week that she was bringing a teddy bear in her backpack. When I inquired she told me casually “it’s in case the bus breaks down.” Whoa. I quickly assured her that if she was uncomfortable riding the bus that she just needed to tell me and I would drive her to school. She shrugged it off. Her brown Build-a Bear was enough security. I doubted it but let her continue. I know she needs to be the one to speak her needs.

She spoke of them Tuesday night. After we were all in bed, she came to me and stated “Mom, I’m not comfortable riding the bus anymore.” It was my reflex to talk to her about it right that second. Thankfully my motherly intuition overrides.

I gave her a second to speak more and she did not. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it in the morning and she heartily replied “yes.” I am sure that talking about it  at bedtime would have caused insomnia and nightmares.

The next morning was an awards assembly. The school focuses on a different character trait each month. Fluffy was recognized at school for January’s theme of respect. Her teacher says she is a very thoughtful girl who is kind to her friends. I am very proud of her and she is proud of herself. We had to rush to get ready. She was bubbling with excitement. Also, she didn’t notice that she would be going in front of the school with a rat nest of hair. We’re still working on personal hygiene. Curly hair is a wicked curse.

She beamed with pride up on the stage. She told all of her neighborhood friends about her award. Mike made a big deal about it when he got home.

I am going to enlist the school counselor’s advice for overcoming this fear. I’m not in a hurry. I don’t want her feeling anxious every morning and afternoon. Even though I don’t like getting my ass out of bed and in the minivan at that hour, if driving her is the best option for now, I’ll do it. But as always, your suggestions are welcome.

by Garrette on Flickr

Scene: Mother and Daughter sitting in the family van eating tacos in front of the school

Daughter: “Mama, in the future, when aliens come, the American flag will change because there will be more countries added in.”

Mother: *silence*

It a tradition in our home to make a pilgrimage to Build-A-Bear workshop in August. It’s part of Fluffy’s birthday celebration. This year, we took two of our furry friends on a shopping spree.

every bear needs a bath

you said the brush is for Bears!

Fluffy was so happy that she is old enough to wear outfits from Justice. She and Chloe, her husky, have matching outfits now!

Strike a pose!

This is my bear, Brownie.

Before

After

Thank you to Build-A-Bear Workshop!